in it, there was truth, reverie, magic, beauty, youth, protection, a crescendo, an opus, an alliance, a nemesis, an everest, a pillow, a stone. beneath it, beneath you, there was pressure. but beside you there was judgement and above you there was indifference. none of these suited me. i needed more. i needed truth. do you understand what i mean when i say truth, little self? i mean brutality, i mean conviction that instigates, i mean raw, organic reality of what He has, of what He is...

and i say that love conquers all, love triumphs. because He said it.

but now, where is victory? where is reverence matching retribution step for step? where is He setting it right? i understand its majesty, but is mystery always necessary?

we were a canvas, and we set down a great work. it is simply unclear as to whether the legacy is one of tragedy or comedy. of dejection or hope. i suppose all who are young and have loved struggle with that even--and ever--after the fact. until the completion. so where is it complete? when is it complete? how is it complete?

here is all i know:
we've chosen our paths, and they do not diverge
we never made a choice
and now it seems we'll never have the chance...
but i never wanted to wear regret like a jewel, i never wanted that crown.
and now i'm a woman less magnificent, but more majestic,
left to drown in the ocean of my God-given strength.

i only wanted a chance for weakness.